BECOMING

(a visual capture)

On the first day of winter, I took a long walk

I felt like walking far and straight
I felt like trudging through the path packed with snow
I felt like seeing the light come up from behind the mountains
I felt like walking to the place where I could see Resurrection Bay

I stopped on a bridge overlooking Resurrection River that was flowing toward the Bay
at some point, my hand brushed the snow off the top of the bridge

It flew
It flew toward the river
    and as it flew
it danced in the wind
    a snowy version of starling murmurations

My hand moved
       becoming snow flying
The snow flew
       becoming the wind's memory
The wind remembered
       becoming the water flowing

Becoming,
        a dance of energies and life's transformation.

~Modern Akhmatova

CREATIVE LIVING

My current journal (handmade), memo pad for daily gratitudes, and fountain pen.

Years ago, I received a book from a close family friend, someone I consider my creative guardian angel, titled "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. It is a beautifully written (work)book on the subject of creativity. I didn't actually read it the whole way through until this year. I finally stuck to the 12-week regimen (which I extended beyond the 12 weeks in order to fully absorb and practice some of the weekly lessons) and completed reading the entire book last month.

The book introduced me to something called the morning pages. It is a daily morning ritual wherein the first thing you do each day is complete three pages stream-of-consciousness writing about anything and everything that comes to mind. Now, I have kept a journal for almost 20 years on and off, and I usually write after waking up. But I have to admit that I fell prey to the idea of "being in the mood" to write for most of those 20 years.

Anyway, the morning pages have changed my life, in that pretty much every day, for the past 6 months, began with this ritual. It has become a lifeline to my inner well-being. I feel so much more alive creatively and am gaining confidence as a writer each and every morning that I devote to writing my morning pages. Most of all, I'm grateful for the idea and the journey that this book guided me through, because by committing myself to the morning pages each and every day, I finally gave myself permission to be an artist and to call myself one.

Loengard, O'Keeffe Taking A Morning Walk, 1968

Another important tool for creativity that Julia Cameron writes about in her second book on creativity called "Walking in this World" is, as the title suggests, walking. In addition to completing daily morning pages, she asks that her readers walk for 20 minutes at least once per week. This was music to my ears. I have been a devoted walker for a couple of years now and find it lovely beyond expression. Nevertheless, I was astounded and delighted to read Julia's rationale and emphasis on the impact that walking can have on our creative capacity and output.

The last important tool that I discovered over the last couple of years, which has done wonders for my well-being, and thus my capacity for creative output, is the practice of thinking about and writing "gratitudes" on a daily basis. Typically, my morning creative routine starts with writing gratitudes on a notepad (seen in the picture at the top). I then fold the piece of paper and put it in a jar where I keep all my gratitudes for the year. I will unfold all of them and read them one by one at the end of the year. I've been writing down gratitudes on a regular basis for some time now, but I only recently discovered this idea to place the daily gratitudes in a jar and read them all at the end of the year. I'm excited for when that time comes!

And lastly, in the spirit of synchronicity, right after I completed "The Artist's Way" I read Elizabeth Gilberts' "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" book, which talks at length about the importance of "doing the work/one's creative calling" on a regular basis, ideally daily. This book came at the perfect time for me, because it reinforced what I was already practicing with the morning pages, gratitudes and daily walks in an attempt to live more authentically, creatively and slowly.

Happy creative living!
~Modern Akhmatova

THE WONDER OF SLOWING DOWN

"Walk as if you're kissing the earth with your feet." - Thich Nhat Hanh

SO walking with his 95 year old grandma.

It was a beautiful Mother's Day celebration. Our family had gathered at my brother and sister-in-law's house to celebrate the amazing women in our lives - my mom, my sister-in-law and SO's mom, and their 95 year old grandma. We filled the sunny day with delicious home cooked food, drinks, and colorful and fragrant gifts and cards.

Hours before everyone arrived and the festivities began, I remember the distinct joyous feeling of slowness. My SO and I had arrived at our siblings' (they are married, yes, you got it right! :)) house the day before, so we were already at their house the next morning when the preparations for the day were starting. That morning, I decided to make crepes before everyone got up. A little later, the four of us shared a slow breakfast, chatted, and hung out. After cleaning up, I started to cook my special dish for the day and realized I was missing a few ingredients. It wasn't long before I was off on a walk to the store through a quirky Orthodox Jewish neighborhood, running into other neighbors walking because it was still Shabbat.

I love seeing people out and about. Moments like these take me back to my childhood in Belgrade, Serbia, where I walked and ran everywhere my young heart desired. It may seem so simple, walking to the grocery store, but unfortunately this is a rare event in America unless you live in a city. That is why my SO and I are trying very hard to use alternative forms of transportation (a.k.a., everything other than the car - walking, biking, public transportation) whenever and wherever we can, because we realize how important it is to truly connect to the land we live on, to become aware of our surroundings, and hopefully, to run into other people and animals on the way to our destination.

I returned home after my wonderfully slow journey to the store and started to cook again. Shortly thereafter, before I was done, people started to arrive. Usually at this point I'd start stressing out because everything wasn't ready before guests arrived, but this time it felt as if I had embraced this reality ahead of its arrival and everything turned out just fine.

For the rest of the day, we dined, wined, reminisced, and spent quality time together. No one was in a rush or worried about anything, we just shared the moments together as best we could. Everyone was fully present and in it to enjoy themselves in the company of their loved ones.

And then I asked  our 95-yr old grandma if she wanted to go on a walk with me. She enthusiastically agreed and off we went down the canopy covered sidewalks in the early evening sunlight. She told me how much she loved walking and how when she was younger, she shared walks with her mom on a daily basis. She went on to say that people nowadays spend too much time in their cars and that they should walk more. It's healthy, she explained.

As we walked and I listened to her wise words, I smiled within. The day had been perfect on so many levels...It inspired me to embrace "slowing down" in order to be more present with myself, others, and the space that surrounds and nourishes us.

Happy slowing down!
~Modern Akhmatova

Related read: "In Praise of Slowness" by Carl Honore (his TED talk about the book: http://www.ted.com/talks/carl_honore_praises_slowness?language=en#t-1140814)